LIFE (is what we make it)

What is life?
A mess,not really
everybody says its beautiful.
But are they happy too??
What is happiness really??
May be success.
But when i strive so much why is it temporary.
May be im impatient.
How do I be satisfied?
And what should i search for?
Happiness,patience or satisfaction.
May be key is to develope all of them
Hidden inside is the origin.
Nourish yourself with love
Love for yourself
Believe in yourself
And trust for yourself
And if not greedy some for others.

I Dream

I am like a lost bird
in the sky filled with clouds
The shapes fascinates me.
inspires me to explore more
The fear of falling is strong
As i know the wings my tire soon.
But i push myself to reach the horizon.
Eyes are filled with dream
Dream to dare to try the impossible.
My strength of going is tremendous
Making a way for my ,carving my paths
in the unknown world.
I want to reach the new destination
To satisy me hunger
To satisfy my thirst
For the unexplored
and for the hidden that i dare to explore.

Remorse

I sat by the corner of my bed
With the ache in my heart
For the pain I had given.
I use to be morning light
He told me once.
I use to be fresh breeze
He told me twice.
And I use to be his asset
He told me always.
But i lead him for funeral.
The permanence of pain will never evaporate
The permanece of guilt will be eternel.
Life is evasive for what i ask
conflict between self denial or betrayal.
It leaves me weak
The funeral will be remainder
of righteous conflict.
Its memories will be resuscitated
Till the pain evanesence forever

Wanting you

As I try till my last breath
Too be right, you always take me wrong
With the blood draining from the memories
I’m left alone and weak to die.
But don’t want support
Don’t want any disgust.
With no more guilt in my heart.
For unsuccessful trials
You stay away।


With my head rested on my arm
I sit in the dark corner of my room
Feeling lost and lonely
Feeling innocently troubled
With nobody around
I just sit alone.
Waiting for a knock, or may be sound of your foot steps
But disappointment is what i hear
And It will prevail for ever.
I seek permission to dream
To fly way, to find my own world.
To do what I want to do.
But the chains of denial crab me,
strangling my neck as i try. 
Not able to move
I just scratch my skin.
It bleeds, but no one to care about.
I weep, but no one to soothe me.
They will dry on their own.
They will disappear.
I will be alone, just sitting in my room.

Sometimes

Sometimes I want to be a baby
With some fingers measuring my toes
Some making funny faces to amuse me.
And some keeping their fingers in my palm
Waiting for me to hold it.


Sometimes I want to be an old lady
Moving my finger tips on my wrinkles.
Measuring my happiness in the depth
Of lines around my lips.
Reaching the experiences of my life in the past
Remembering the incidences by looking at the scars
Taking small steps like a child
Walking till they halt.


Sometimes I want to be a mother
Feeling tiny legs and heart beats in my womb.
Feeling the pain as it moves every inch.
Feeling my skin just next to mine.
Feeling my blood out of my veins
Kissing what I will love the most
For the rest of my life.

शायद !यही ज़िन्दगी है

कशमकश की दौड़ में उलझी सी है ज़िन्दगी
इस दौड़ में भागते इंसानों में धुँन्ध्ती है किसी अपने को ज़िन्दगी,
कभी अकेलेपन से दूर,तोह अभी अपनो से दूर भागती है ज़िन्दगी,
बनाती है अन्जांनो से ये रिश्ता
तोह कभी तोड़देती है अपनो से ही नाता
कमी को दूर करने को भागती रहती है खुद से
लेती है ज़ख्म अपने ऊपर,
मगर फिर भी रखती है मुस्कराहट अपने चेहरे पे
शायद डरती है खुद की सचाई से
आईना दिखती तोह है,पर छुपे हुए चेहरे को ढकने के लिए
छूता है कोई गहरई में जाके
तोह रोक नहीं पाती है आसुओ के समंदर को,
तडपती है खुले अस्मा के निचे,
रोत्ती है थोड़े से और आसमा के लिए
कभी खुद को ही अनजानी सी लगती है,तोह कभी पहचानी सी
देखके भीड में अपने से चेहरे को कभी खिल भी जाती है
तोह कभी अपने से ही बागती है ये ज़िन्दगी.
मुझे तोह समझ नहीं आ पाती है
पर फिर भी हँस देती हु में इसके खेल पे.
शायद सोचके ये
के कभी तोह मेरे साथ चलेगी ये ज़िन्दगी

Love for Loneliness

The life seems to be alone;
the day seems to be faded
As the world begins a new start,
I think where did i stop.
Did ever loneliness vanished for me,
or was it hiding inside me.
The world seems to be so plastic,
i bet hell is doing better.

On all the faces around me is a mask worn,

But beneath them is darkness's throne.

I question myself too
Has loneliness being living inside me
or was it dark filled inside me.

will love ever sprout for me,
or will it be dark being born.
Will i ever enjoy the smell of light,

or i will be scared with its sight

But for now
I am an addict,
addicted for being alone.
The people around me are part of social circle.
that just exists for being normal.
Whats all this???…i want to shout..
whats all this mess..i want to ignore..
but it loneliness that is encrypted in me

I ever wish somebody reads it out for me..